Suprises

One thing that has surprised me is how Catholic everything is. I know that I joined the Jesuit volunteer Corps, but I guess I didn't realize what that meant. I really love and appreciate Jesuit ideas and their focus on action and reflection - understanding how you feel and why you feel that way, but Catholicism scares me. I don't understand it. It's like learning a whole new vocabulary and culture for things that should be simple. I don’t get the subtle jokes, the nuances of catholic culture. 5 of the 7 people in my house are Catholic, or grew up in the Catholic Church. They know all the motions, all the words to say, all the words to the liturgical music, and I sit, stand, and kneel with mild anxiety that I'm making a mistake and someone will stand up and say,  "SHE'S NOT CATHOLIC!" Greeting Parishioners, I feel like I'm lying. They assume I'm catholic, but I'm not. I feel like I need to confess to them like non-Catholics anonymous "Hello, my name is Erin Cooley, and I'm not a catholic." Fear stems from not understanding - I'm definitely a little frightened. 

 

But it's a good thing. I think. I’m surprised that I had so many preconceived notions and prejudices against Catholic people. I'm already having great conversations with my roommates about their upbringing in the Catholic Church. I ask a lot of questions about what stuff means, what I should and shouldn't do, sometimes with answers, sometimes not. It makes me want to understand more about my own Presbyterian upbringing and what I believe that differs from what they believe. Hopefully I can spend time researching church history and culture and more good conversations and growth can stem from my feelings of discomfort.